But then, when I was 13, I went to Six Flags with some friends. Of course they all wanted to ride the Batman coaster, and understood that I was scared. But I didn't want to be left behind without my friends. So I went. I closed my eyes, held on tight and tried to breathe. And once I faced my fears, I found that the roller coaster was no longer one of them.
Years later, I love roller coasters. The rush and the falling no longer terrify me. In fact, they save my soul.
I have so much built up inside of me. So much hurt and anger over this illness and how it is affecting me. Not worrying about college and Crohn's (dorm room here I come!), or stupid doctors telling me all the EXTRA tests I need. Trying to remember not to let Crohn's define me.
So when that roller coaster reaches the top of the hill, I open my eyes wide and lift my arms high above my head and LET IT ALL GO. Let the wind wash away the pain, let the speed take away my worries, let the rush remind me there is a whole world ahead of me.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
I plan on it.