What do you say?

I have known, in my day to day life, exactly one person with Crohn's. She was my dance teacher and I never really understood what was wrong with her. I knew that she was sick and that sometimes she wouldn't feel up to some things, but I never knew what was wrong. Even when people would tell me, it wouldn't really register.

Once I got my diagnosis, I got into contact with someone that still knew her, and asked if they would ask her if she would be willing to talk to me. She said yes and gave my friend her number. I've had it for two weeks, and I haven't called her yet.

I mean, what do I say? "I know you have this crippling illness and so do I, how do I deal?" I mean, what am I supposed to say? I don't even tell my friends and yet I am willing to spill my guts out to someone I haven't talked to in years? How do I do that? What do I say? I mean, do I even have questions to ask her? If every one's case is different, then I don't know what she can do for me. But it would be nice to talk about it. I just don't know what to do.

This telling people. It's hard. I still am not really telling people. Because I'm not ready to have to explain my future over and over again. But someone who knows? It might be better, it might help. I've heard of support groups but never really thought about going. It's almost as though this is my support group. Those who stumble along this post and read and leave comments, those are the ones with the advice and help. Do I go somewhere where I sit and talk about my feelings? How scared I am?

Maybe I'll call her tomorrow, maybe next week. I may never feel ready to know what I am facing from someone who lives it. A doctor telling me is one thing, a first hand experience is something different. To know it all from someone who lives it, to hear about what is going to happen or could happen, it makes all the difference in the world. We'll see...

M