To Vaccine or Not?

See this is exactly the kind of thing I was dreading would happen. I would have to make a huge decision based on the fact that my new compromised immune system sucks. Which, FYI, IT DOES.

Ok, so here is the deal. The summer is ending, the cold is approaching. When cold happens, illness tends to follow. Now, normally, this would not be a big deal, at least back in the old days. I would go to the doctor, get some antibiotics, drink clear liquids, and wait for my immune system to kick the ass of whatever little evil was attacking me. But now, now it's all different. As previously mentioned, antibiotics are the worst thing for me and letting myself get dehydrated and surviving on next to nothing is also a horrible idea. Plus, my immune system would rather attack my intestines so getting it to rally to kick the flu bug out? Hardly going to happen as easily as it used to.

So now I join the ranks of small children and old people alike, who get the sickness easily and have to take all the precaution in the world to protect themselves. Now, small children don't have much choice in this option, but old people do. The option is to get a flu shot. Which is something that I am usually really against. I personally believe that injecting yourself purposely with a strand of something that could do extreme damage to you (since the whole reasoning behind getting it is that you are too weak to fight it yourself) is just a dumb idea. I mean, it just seems crazy and dangerous.

But Dr. K and other specialists tend to think that it is not crazy and is not dangerous, and in fact, want me to go a step futher...ready...? When the BRAND NEW H1N1 vaccine comes out...they want me to take it. They want to me to inject myself with a disease that has been known to kill people with weak immune systems just like mine. Oh, and one that is BRAND NEW.

I...I can't. I mean, I know I have to listen to Dr. K, and do as he says, because he has my best interest in mind. But I can't help but doubt this every step of the way. It just seems like a very bad plan, to load me up with compromising vaccines in hopes that it can in some small way, build up my immune system to near it's former glory. But could you do it? If you were me? Would you put yourself at risk to possibly prevent yourself from getting something that you aren't guaranteed to get in the first place?

Like I said, these are the kinds of decisions I didn't want to have to make. I thought that I would have time to get used to Crohn's before I started dealing with the big stuff. And this, while it may seem like nothing to you, is everything to me. The decision I make is one that will determine how the next few months go for me. I just want to make the right one.

I need to make the right one.

M